We’re only two weeks in to 2018 and if I encounter the words “new year, new you” one more time, I may do something a tiny bit over the top.
I can see myself travelling to the United States, storming the White House, finding Trump spilling out of a chair like a human beanbag watching Miss America re-runs, telling him “if you’re not going to do it, I will” and then hitting the red button marked “Launch all newks” which will be among Big Mac wrappers and meatloaf crumbs sitting on a dining table like a portable buzzer from a trivia board game. Bit much?
You should put as little time and effort as possible into your new year’s resolution.
Anyway, the point is there’s no point continuing to read this if you’re here seeking platitudinous and condescending advice about “your personal resolution journey”.
As if you would. As a Benign to Five reader, you know better. A resolution is a sandcastle; there is little point investing in something that will wash away with the rising tide and return to the metaphorical beach from whence it was built.
So here’s my advice: instead of making your resolution delicate and beautiful and adorning it with little shell windows and seaweed curtains, you should put as little time and effort into it as possible.
If your resolution isn’t already a post-wave amorphous mass: kick it down now and start again.
Build the replacement structure way up in the spinifex behind the beach, just a hastily assembled sand mound representing something outrageously easy: “lose 500 grams” or “improve typing speed by one word a minute”.
No embellishment. No ambition. No time-involvement. Just a pile of granules that no-one will ever notice.